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Someone Would Have To Die…

July 17, 2010

This is an amalgamation of 3 Conversations I had last night about a real incident.

Dash: What the lick read?

Lex: Huh?

Dash: What the lick read?

Lex:(Showing a bit of exasperation) I do not know what you are talking about. Speak English nigga!

Dash: Shit aight. What is the business?

Lex: (Furrows Brow) *******’s cousin got shot.

Dash: What did he do?

Lex: Why did he have to do something?

Dash: Cats tend not to get shot for no reason.

Lex: He did not do anything. It is what his sister did.

Dash: What see do?

Lex: Well let me start at the beginning. ******’s cousin had a broad show up at his house talking that shit.

Dash: Uh huh.

Lex: She would not pump her brakes, so his sister whipped her ass.

Dash: He got shot over a simple ass whipping?

Lex: He got shot after what happened after the fight.

Dash: What happened?

Lex: Are you sure you want to know?

Dash: Yeah.

Lex: You just bought and are eating a meatball sub. I should wait.

Dash: Gwan head tell me!

Lex: After the fight ******’s cousin’s sister took off the Maxi Pad she was wearing at the time and stuck in ol girl’s mouth.

Dash: (O__o) What? Damn. I would have to murder a bitch or two over that shit!

Lex: Well she tried. She sprayed their house with an AK, and ******’s cousin was hit five times.

Dash: Serves his ass right. You just can’t watch as someone gets hit with a simultaneous Babality and Friendship at the same time.

Lex and Dash: (Laughs)

Dash: Someone would have to die!

Lex: You have not even asked me if dude is OK.

Dash: Fuck him. I would murk the whole family. I would set off bombs at their family reunion and rain gunfire on the crowd during the ensuing confusion.

Lex: I wonder how long it stayed in her mouth.

Dash: There is no acceptable time for a pad to be in your mouth.

Lex: It was a heavy day too.

Dash: Nooooo! (Laughs) This is so fucked up.

Lex: 20 minutes later she sprayed the block down again.

Dash: That’s wassup.

Lex: You are really mad about this.

Dash: It is fucked up. She has an insanity defense.

Lex: Huh?

Dash: That shit would drive me crazy. If I get on the jury she is walking. Fuck that.

Lex: Even if the nigga dies…

Dash: Yes all that blood in my mouth…period blood in my mouth. Can you imagine what she has to gargle to get her mouth clean. Chewing some Orbit gum will not get the job done.

Lex: (Laughs) Ewww….Yall got something to drink in here.

Dash: There is some KoolAid in the fridge.

Lex:(Goes to Fridge): It is red. I will pass.

Dash: (Laughs)

Lex: I am out.

Dash: Aight. (mutters to himself): Someone would have to die.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. July 17, 2010 9:40 pm

    /\_______________________ but real talk though, I can’t think of anything worse you could to do someone. (-.-)

    • July 17, 2010 9:44 pm

      It is the ultimate form of disrespect. I feel bad that I disqualified myself from the jury pool by posting this.

  2. July 17, 2010 9:44 pm

    snickers* and then busts out laughing…. This is soooo fXcking funny… and ewww where they do that at!

  3. Julius Hinton permalink
    July 18, 2010 12:25 am

    Where do you come up with this shit!!!! LMFAO

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