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Does Anyone Still Take One for the Team?

July 6, 2010

I decided to resurrect this post because The Tour De France has me thinking about the practice of taking one for the team. Cycling is the ultimate team sport. At one point I thought it was football, not the world variety, but the good kind that is played professionally on Sundays. Members of cycling teams often must sacrifice individual glory for the sake of going after team wins and protecting the title chances of the team’s star.

“I for one am announcing my retirement from the practice of diving on grenades for the sake of the squadron. I am raising my jersey to the rafters…”

But I would like to honor some of all time greats at taking one for the team.

Taker: Greg Anderson

Team: Barry Bonds

Baseball is a sport that in the right situation rewards sacrifice. There are players who are mediocre in every respect, but keep roster spots because they can lay down a sacrifice bunt. Greg Anderson sacrificed a lot for friend, and client Barry Bonds. Homeslice did multiple bids upstate because of his refusal to snitch on The New Home Run King. (Hank Aaron sit cho old ass down, and quit being salty. Barry bested your mark in a manner appropos for the sport of baseball by cheating.) I do not have to rack my brain to find someone I would be willing to encounter booty warriors for because there aren’t any. I know I do not have the heart to do what Greg did.

Taker: Jesus

Team: Mankind

BlackJesus.jpg Jesus image by dwkamack

Black Jesus died for your sins, and had the class and dignity to not even ask for some head out of the deal. He is a better being than me. If I died for your sins I would be off in heaven with 70 virgins, 80 pros, and an endless supply of Pure White Hennessy. I guess that is why I was not tabbed for the assignment of bringing Salvation to man.

Edit: The Vagina of Pornstar Pinky was originally included in this post, but was removed as I was alerted that I already have accrued too many Hell Points this year.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. July 6, 2010 5:00 am

    lmfao #Iexpectsomehead …. now go write lightskinned pimp jesus… it should be a musical.

    • July 6, 2010 5:46 am

      I worked on it this weekend. I would rather it not be a musical. I am aiming for comic farce filled with biting wit and inside jokes.

  2. July 6, 2010 5:59 am

    HA!
    I take one for the team all the time, expect shit in return and get nothing. Maybe I should only play for team Tesco.

    • July 6, 2010 6:11 am

      I once took one for the team for a cat that I did not know. He walked up to me asking for my assistance, I agreed to lend my aid, and finished the mission even though shawty looked like the offspring of an Alien and Predator coupling.

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