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Something in The Water Does Not Compute

June 8, 2010

This should have been written yesterday, but I am nothing if not lazy. In recognition of The Artist’s Birthday, here are my 5 favorite Prince songs:

5. Cream: I used to have many a mirror session with this song playing in the background. My vanity knows no bounds.

4. Purple Rain: Soaring ballad that is perfect in every way. Some will argue that this was Prince at the height of his powers.

3. Beautiful Ones: This is just a exquisitely well made song that was perfect for the scene in Purple Rain for which it was used.

2. Movie Star: This song was to be on Dream Factory, but never officially saw the light of day when Dream Factory was dropped in favor of Sing O The Times.

1. Electric Intercourse: This is another unreleased gem. It was supposed to be on Purple Rain, but was bumped for Beautiful Ones.

That list should have been ten songs deep.

Let me fix that:

6.I Could Never Take The Place of Your Man

7. Baby

8. Dirty Mind

9. If I Was Ur Girlfriend

10. When U Were Mine

Honorable Mentions: Starfish and Coffee, Slow Love, International Lover, Do Me Baby, and All My Dreams

  • So I am at the Wally World yesterday, and I was approached by a mustached 60 year old woman.
  • While there I spent 30 minutes trying to find where they moved the Kool Aid. I felt less authentically Black every additional second of that search.
  • I sang offensive songs, in the blues style about my testicles for the whole time I was there. Which made the holleration from Great Grandma all the more jarring.
  • Something in the water does not compute. I seem to be a universal hollerable gentleman. Every seems to think I am in their league. It is cool, but confusing at the same time.
  • Q: Would I have hit that ancient poontang? A: Only if the cash is/was right. As a member of the Federated Guild of Gigolos International, I am duty bound to please paying customers. I do not want to lose my card and benefits.  Especially since Obama has mandated that everyone have health insurance or we face penalties.

Can Big Boi make me interested in Hip Hop again? At the very least I may do something I have not done in about a year and some change, download a Hip Hop album or mixtape. I just stopped caring sometime last year.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. June 8, 2010 3:18 pm

    LOL, they moved the Kool aid, LOL. I can see all the black people congregating together looking for it.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany

    • June 8, 2010 6:00 pm

      I eventually broke down and asked one of the associates to tell me where they moved it. I had to whisper it because I was feeling some kind of way already for feeding the stereotype beast.

  2. essence permalink
    June 8, 2010 5:21 pm

    Beautiful ones and insatiable

    • June 30, 2010 7:21 am

      A mirror session is different from the other kind of session.

  3. June 30, 2010 5:58 am

    I thought I was a somewhat respectable Prince fan, but you have hipped me to some tunes I wasnt aware of; thanks!

    I LOOOOVEEEE “Movie Star” and Im trying to find it for my iPod.

    L

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