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Women As Pokemon and Other Things I Have Never Finished Writing

June 6, 2010

When I set out write a post I am often crippled by my chronic lack of an attention span. Until last week when I deleted all my unfinished drafts, I had 3 times as many drafts as posts.  Some of them had potential, but remained incomplete for one reason or another. Examples of reasons include moths fluttering about in my peripheral vision, finding myself in another LeBron is not going to Chicago debate with a friend who will remain nameless, or my occasional bouts with ennui.

Here are a couple of ideas that I never completed:

Women Personality Types and Their Pokemon Counterparts:

Primeape:  This ill tempered, and poorly name Pokemon, it is actually a pig, is of the fighting type. It is renowned for it’s stamina and willingness to let it’s hands go.

TV Character Equivalent:  Diana Guzman played by Michelle Rodriguez in the film Girl Fight.

Magikarp: Less of a personality, and more of an idea. Magikarps are for the most part useless, but their evolved forms are quite awesome. They turn into the Pokemon pictured below, which depending on your point of view is a swan or a bitter old shrew. I choose to look on the bright side and go with swan.

Other Media Equivalent: The Pretty Ugly Girl who gets made over in teen movies.

Magikarp Bonus: It’s only attack is splash attack, which serves as a metaphor for what is often the best qualities of those diamonds in the rough. Very wet…um fish.

When The Glow Is Not Enough:

This entry was supposed to be about my hatred of the character Bruce LeRoy, who was famously played in an effeminate manner, by alleged woman-beating actor Taimak(seen below). I intended to rant about how preposterous it was for the gorgeous Laura Charles, ably played by Vanity(below Taimak) to hook up with, and eventually marry Bruce.I was distracted from doing so because of the arrival of tacos.

I was supposed to include other unfinished/underpursued ideas, but true to form I have become distracted again. I will push the publish button before all is lost.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. June 6, 2010 8:08 pm

    LOL, I couldn’t get past the Pokemon reference, LOL. And you are absolutely right LeBron is not going to Chicago. If he were to surprise me and do it then I would shoot myself.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany

    • June 7, 2010 12:34 am

      This guy has been filling up my text inbox daily. If he was not my ace boon coon, I would have blocked his number he has been annoying me so much. I just wish LeBron would quit this free-agent tour business, which is souring people on him as a person, and pledge to sign somewhere and get it over with.

  2. June 23, 2010 7:53 pm

    hahaha..that’s so funny..

  3. October 19, 2010 8:03 am

    I think pokemon is the biggest distraction ever invented! Thank goodness for that!

  4. February 6, 2011 11:18 am

    Definitely are in agreement with what you stated. Your explanation was certainly easy and simple to know. I explain to you, It’s my job to get irked when folks discuss points that they plainly don’t know about. You were kick the nail upon your head and explained out everything without complication. Will likely be back.

  5. October 18, 2012 8:03 pm

    Let’s revamp this.brilliant idea.
    You need balls to become a pokemon master.

    Scyther – Green. Vicious. Ballbusting. One of those Go-Green career women in the urban areas who despise men.

    Articuno – Icy. Suave. Legendary. Like a Nubian Princess. Cleopatra.

    Raichu – Strong, slow, not as likeable but knows all the tricks. Post-natal woman from Iran or Pakistan or Arabia (all wives gain 30 lbs and keep dem 30 lbs)

    Nidoqueen: Horny and powerful and abrasive. Ann Coulter the manjaw

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