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Dark Reign, The List, and Pam Grier

May 15, 2010

Pam Grier is on the list. Hell she inspired The Time Machine Holleration List.(See Below) A marathon of her filmography, which included me being slightly disappointed in how she aged in Original Gangsters,  got me to thinking about finally finishing up a project I began when I was 7. Operation Fourth Dimension Flux Capacitor E.  My own personal time machine.

Other than the physics of going back in time getting in the way of my holleration: See Here I have solved the problem of only being able to travel forward in time with another theory. The Big Bang and existence is a cyclical event. After the universe stretches as far as the energy of The Big Bang allows, it will contract back into a ball of unimaginable energy and mass, which will explode again. The world we know will begin again…how does this allow me to get me some prime Pam? I will travel so far forward in time that it will be 1975 all over again.  This takes care of the issue of the universe correcting the paradoxes that would occur if a person attempted to travel back in time. I win, and Stephen Hawking can gargle my balls in defeat. But another problem arises.

There is the problem of this bombshell from Pam Grier:

In her memoir out this week, actress Pam Grier says she and Richard Pryor broke up in part because his cocaine use had led to a dangerous buildup of the drug in her vaginna. Is that even possible?

Here’s how Grier recounts the conversation with her doctor:

He said, “Pam, I want to tell you about an epidemic that’s prevalent in Beverly Hills right now. It’s a buildup of cocaine residue around the cervix and in the vaginna. You have it. Are you doing drugs?”

“No,” I said, astonished.

“Well, it’s really dangerous,” he went on. “Is your partner putting cocaine on his dikc to sustain his erection?”

“No,” I said, “not that I know of. It’s not like he has a pile of cocaine next to the bed and he dips his dikc in it before we have sex.” I had a nauseating flash of one of Richard’s famous lines: Even my dick has a cocaine jones.

“Are you sure he isn’t doing it in the bathroom before he comes to bed?” the doctor asked.

“That’s a possibility,” I said. “You know, I am dating Richard Pryor.”

“Oh, my God,” he said. “We have a serious problem here. If he’s not putting it on his skin directly, then it’s worse because the coke is in his seminal fluid.

“The doctor then asks her if her mouth went numb while performing oral sex on Pryor, which she says it did, and which he links to the Novocaine-like effects of cocaine.

Could I use a woman’s future past against her in a situation like this?  Would doing so make me a hypocrite? Also if I did would I have to strike several of the members of my illustrious list of of it as they all have skeletons.

My Time Travel Holleration List

My top 3:
Vanity(1982)

Pam Grier(1975)

Tichina Arnold( Pam from Martin)(1992)

Man I had it bad for Beadybead.

Honorable Mentions:

Patra(1991)
Eartha Kitt(1953)
Akosua Busia(1985)
Toni Braxton(1993)
Lisa Bonet(1987)
Mavis Staples(1970)
Phylicia Rashad and Debbie Allen(1982)

Note:It is incredibly selfish of me to use my time machine to holler at women instead of positively helping mankind. But I am Dash, and I am a dick.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. May 29, 2010 8:17 am

    Incredibly awesome read! Truely!

  2. May 6, 2013 7:28 pm

    Link exchange is nothing else except it is simply placing the other person’s webpage link on your page at appropriate place and other person will also do same in support of you.

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