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My Week As The Mango

April 22, 2010

Don’t call me sexy. Anyone who has working genitalia is sexy. I prefer to be referred to as alluring, captivating, and tantalizing. During the past week The Dash Mane has been all of those things and then some.  I am not a stranger to getting propositioned for the joog. It comes with the territory of being a young Mandingo who has a dash of Unconquered Strongbacked Seminole running through his veins, but even a veteran of women being frank about their designs on his wang was taken aback by the public nature of the holleration he received this week. The cougars at my job seem to have made it a point to rub on The Dash Mane’s muscles in full view of everyone. I have been on the receiving end of 123% more titty brushings this week, and some dude went into a convoluted Bible-based spiel in an attempt to get my number. That whole incident which occurred in the break room, in full earshot of half of my workplace left me mildly wonderstruck. I now know how it feels to be The Mango.

“Can you know the mighty ocean? Can you lasso a star from the sky?” I whispered this into the ear of the 54 year old redbone who felt the need to trace my biceps with her index finger, and sniff the nape of my well built neck. I also said the next time you come this close to me, there will be a dick in your vagina, and a big chunk of your paycheck in my pocket. The ball is in your court dribble or shoot. I may have escalated things, and today is payday. Will The Dash Mane have to pay the piper, and pipe her down? Stay tuned. Failure to provide the jism could result in me getting  my membership to the International Association of Giggolos revoked, and a player can’t have that.

I am simply irresistible to everyone.

Note: My job is a hotbed for ratchedness. Some of the bathrooms were removed because employees were fucking in them. A security guard also patrols the parking lot in an effort to tamp down the epidemic of in car BJs.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. Tracy permalink
    April 22, 2010 8:35 pm

    Are you Seminole too?!? I knew there was something I liked about you!!

    Russian/Black TT Fights ready – credit cards accepted!! LOL!!

    • April 23, 2010 1:10 pm

      The family patriarch married into the tribe and fought in The Seminole Wars. He was a badass.

  2. Sheerie TheKey permalink
    April 22, 2010 8:51 pm

    (o_O)??? “Don’t call me sexy. Anyone who has working genitalia is sexy.” *DEAD*…… LOL. & This is WHY You’re MY Friend!!!

  3. Renee permalink
    April 22, 2010 9:03 pm

    “Can you know the mighty ocean? Can you lasso a star from the sky?” <— I can't stand you for this!!!

  4. April 23, 2010 6:18 pm

    A security guard also patrols the parking lot in an effort to tamp down the epidemic of in car BJs. <<< this is what he would like you to think. I bet top flight is getting the bj's too #justsayin

    • April 23, 2010 7:10 pm

      No one is topping off that guy. He is barely alive.

  5. thatchic permalink
    April 27, 2010 3:48 am

    A security guard also patrols the parking lot in an effort to tamp down the epidemic of in car BJs.

    is this at every Fortune 500 company in America?…it’s more action going ons @ any given corp parking lot/underground garage (underground garage alone sounds kinky) than an auditorium @ you local high school.

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