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The Items I Need To Properly Pipe Down Serena Williams

April 15, 2010

Serena Williams’ assets have been consistent rap/fap fodder for the better part of a decade. Every red-blooded Afro-American male seems to dream of a woman with an ass like Serena. Count me among their number.  These are the items I would like to have available to me if I were to engage in coitus with Miss Grandslam. As a potential bed mate her athleticism presents a some special issues. How does one deal with her strength, speed power, stamina, and other worldly reflexes? The answer to that question can be found in the following list:

The Basics

No dunkums would present a problem.

My back is strong, but a romp with Serena has the potential to overwhelm even my gamma amplified back strength, a back brace gives me peace of mind.

Ginseng provides a great energy boost to get one over the hump when a man thinks he has reached his sexual energy limit.

Sometimes the body does not cooperate with our lusts. I protect against that with a little lube.

The Intermidiates:

If Serena’s oncourt screams are any indication, she is capable of producing eardrum endangering moans in the bedroom. In a move to protect my long term ear health, I introduce a ball and gag to the proceedings.

No need to explain this one.

For her safety. The season’s important majors are on the horizon, and it would not be a good look for Ms. Williams to miss them because of concussion related injuries.

A cape and mask for myself is a must. It will make me feel like a wang-dealing superhero.

It has been said that a man in a Spiderman button-up is incapable of being shoned…I begged to differ.

I need proof of my Spiderman shirt feat.

The Advanced:

This not really for sex purposes, but for us to replenish our energy levels during half time.

Is it in you?

Serena and I would be enough to make the sex spectacular, but I just can’t pass up the opportunity to add this 3LW and Cheetah Girl alum to this explosive mix. If only she had kept her gap…

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Renee permalink
    April 16, 2010 11:54 pm

    LOL if you ever wear that mask/cape ANYWHERE I’m unfollowing you.

    • April 16, 2010 11:58 pm

      I have everything at my disposal but the mask and cape. I will get them this weekend so Serena can holla at the kid.

  2. April 17, 2010 12:03 am

    I think the cape and Mask are VITAL!!

    As is the video camera cuz I’ve been dying for a sex tape of hers to leak!

    • April 17, 2010 12:10 am

      I will happily provide a tape. I am certain Common can’t put it down properly anyway.

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