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Why I Look Forward to Being An Old Black Man

February 14, 2010

There are numerous downsides to old age. Wiki lists them here, so I don’t have to. I am here to talk about the upside. Namely the ability to not give a damn about anything.  The older a man gets, the more flagrant he can be with his tongue, and most importantly the more off the wall he can be with his mode of dress by capitalizing on the fact that being an older Black male increases a man’s natural stylishness by 69%. That number is scientifically proven.  Allow me to illustrate my point.

Lets compare and contrast. In the pic immediately below, Elton John looks like an idiot. He knows he looks like an idiot, and that is the point. Even as a gay male, he was still in the closet in this picture, even though I never understood how people could have ever been confused by his sexuality, Elton can’t pull of this ensemble. The same outfit placed in the hands of Max Julien would not only be acceptable, but put him in the running for another Player of The Year Award. If this was a face off, Max knows I would choose him.

The impetus of this post was Daryl Dawkins, The Dean, President, and Arch-Duke of Imagistration. Chocolate Thunder has never been shy about expressing his style, even if that style makes him look like the couch your grandmother never removed the plastic from. Note the confident smile, and the relaxed shoulders that comes with knowing that you look damn good.

The same can be said for Bill Russell, who may or may not be wearing be wearing shorts. Or are they capris? It doesn’t matter because Bill is 76, and you can kiss his  have more championship rings than I have  fingers ass. Please for you sake, take note of how laid back he is. Bill is so relaxed that he is crossing his legs in public. I long for that freedom, and with the passage of time I will get it. When I get old no one will bat an eyelash, or fix their mouth to talk slick about me going to the grocery store with the following outfit: grey wife beater, tube socks, loafers, and basketball shorts, and because of that I no longer fear old age. Look out for me when I turn 30. No one will be able to tell me nothin.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. Roni permalink
    February 15, 2010 4:22 am

    bwahwahwah very well written and hysterical! and btw he is wearing pedal pushers

  2. February 15, 2010 8:51 pm

    Yea, looking at these gents gives your a sick feeling in yuor stomach.

  3. February 21, 2010 1:02 am

    Yeah, being old gives you an excuse to dress like you rolled out of bed and got dressed in the dark.


  4. Renee permalink
    February 24, 2010 9:05 am

    *dead* —> “…Bill Russell, who may or may not be wearing be wearing shorts…”

  5. April 23, 2010 6:14 pm

    I could so see the dash in the high waters in dress socks with a salt and pepper beard hehe


  1. Addendum: Why I Look Forward To Being An Old Black Man « Watch Me Yule

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