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I Would Have Two-Pieced Mikey

January 3, 2010

This is a picture of a beyotch, that I would have had to deal with.

I know that this is not a popular opinion. Mikey seemed to be the most popular turtle, when he and his brothers were on top of the world. To me he was just incredibly annoying. His attempts to lighten the mood always failed because he was a lame Spicolliesque cornball. Brother/ally or not, I can’t believe that Raphael or Casey just did not snap and whoop his ass. Mikey was always on that party shit. The Turtles had business to attend to. Namely preventing The Shredder from taking over the world and ushering a period of  world wide Utopic bliss.

Note that Michelangelo is the only Turtle whose eyes show a serious lack of respect for the importance of the issue at hand.

Mikey also did not know how to behave around women. He was a cockblocker. The type of guy who shows off for women, and in the end behaves in a manner that turns off whichever gaggle of women you and your crew were attempting to impress. I am convinced that if April O’Neil would have been willing to serve the boys he would have somehow messed it up.

Down For Whatever?


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